To heal the orphaned heart and to heal orphaned leaders, it is important to bring truth to the forefront. We have to disintegrate the lies that uphold orphanhood.
At the basic level, a person with an orphaned heart feels like they are not loved and/or they have to work for love and acceptance. This is where we find the beginning of all trouble. Every deplorable thing that most people settle for and every wicked practice they resort to in their lives is because they simply don’t understand that they are already loved and accepted.
Habits of the “Unloved”
For a person to have a core belief that they are unloved gives permission for the orphaned heart. Any person that feels unloved also feels like they are not accepted or affirmed. A person with an orphaned heart (or the unloved) will tolerate abuse and all manners of evil being done to them if they feel like they are getting some form of acceptance. They begin to perceive this treatment as love if they have yet to come in contact with or become aware of a pure stream of love. In fact, any kind of attention or affection is taken because they don’t want to miss out on the possible opportunity to be a part of something. This is why you will find them working overtime to hold together very unhealthy and super toxic and abusive relationships. (These relationships include parents/parental types, friends, romantic partners, spiritual leaders, supervisors, or any such person.)
A person with an orphaned heart can be extremely needy and clingy when they finally get love from someone if they aren’t healed first. At a certain point, they can also shut down and keep a huge distance from people out of fear. Because of that fear, they will make people prove themselves to earn their acceptance and love. They put people through all sorts of tests and trials and the moment they fail, their love and acceptance are retracted in some way.
Pure Love & Affirmation
None of this is any way communicates love. You see any type of Love that comes from a pure stream is extended from the love of God flowing through another person. When God chose to love us, he did so within himself first. When we love each other, it should be done in the same manner–with no selfish motives connected to it. This is true of acceptance and affirmation too as they are offshoots of love. God never made Jesus prove himself before he declared his love for him. In the third chapter of Matthew, we see Jesus’ life story told in a very condensed fashion.
We know of Jesus being born, having to flee as a toddler, and having a showing at age 12. He was not recorded for 18 years after that. Tradition would have that Jesus was doing what all Hebrew men did to come of age and responsibility for those 18 years. When he emerges, he was baptized according to culture and law. He did no miracles or any such thing. He simply was. Father God then announced in a voice from heaven saying, THIS IS MY BELOVED SON IN WHOM I’M WELL PLEASED. Right at that moment, he was publicly affirmed. That is the most beautiful thing that we can receive from our Heavenly Father.
Just like Jesus, you have to settle in your own heart that your SOUL is LOVED by GOD. PERIOD. Ephesians 1:6 says, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. YOU ARE Accepted by the MOST HIGH GOD. Nothing can compete with that. Rejection is a sure experience in the world but we have the ability to know that we belong to God. Now listen! Agreeing with behaviors doesn’t communicate love in the same way that affirmation cannot and should not have to be earned. That’s not how God loves. In fact, Romans 5: 6-8 says, For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Now that we belong to Him and are accepted of HIM, there is just a beauty in knowing that there’s nothing we could do to earn his love and nothing can remove his love. In the tenth chapter of John Jesus says, And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. We are captured in His love. Paul writes it like this in the eighth chapter of Romans, For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. His love runs deep for us. This is how you heal an orphan heart–by knowing this truth.
Overcome by Affirmation
It is from this well of love that we serve God, live out our callings, and function in loving relationships with one another. See, it was after Jesus was affirmed as the Beloved Son that he was lead by the Holy Spirit to be tempted. Abba didn’t make him pass the test first. It was the affirmation and love he already had that he drew his strength from. Every temptation that was presented to him by the devil started with “If you are the Son of God…”. Jesus was already affirmed and therefore did not feel like he had to prove anything. He had the courage, patience, and strength to endure. It’s amazing what we can and will do when we operate from our affirmed place as the BELOVED of God. You must know that every temptation you face will come to find cracks in your heart and uncertainty in your identity and place in God. When you are able to endure temptation and accept that you are who God has called you, it is then that you are qualified for authority. (Orphans don’t need authority only sons who are maturing.)
Receive the Love, Acceptance, & Affirmation from God. Allow Him to heal you from the rejection in your life experiences. Let him disintegrate that orphaned heart within. Fully accept his love and allow his love to flow through you so you can do and be all that He intends. Grace & Peace! #RevealingSons